Never Cheat The Process

I know you’ve been really really tired. It feels like a long run of constant failure. The anxiety of always feeling not good enough, feeling that there’s always something’s missing.

I feel like, I fast forward everything. The millennials generation, is da real trap. I do fast fast fast. But the fact is, we can’t never really cheat time. When you try to do a shortcut of long process, this is what you feel.

To be honest, I really hate someone who made me here today. I still remember when he said, “It’s not about your work, your style, your portfolio. It’s about networking. People will pay you high and it’s not about your artwork.” And I follow it, and yes, I got a big amount of money in a really young career as a graphic designer, while my friends are still struggling making their own portfolio. I cheated the process. At first it feels really cool, with all of this money. But after 2 years, I know that I feel a great emptiness. I feel like, these 2 years, I never really made an artwork. Because I am just wanting the money.

It really drained my taste, my skill, my sense, and it’s not good.

I realise this, that if I keep doing this, I will be a human being that actually has no capability. I will lose the race with fellow designers that actually fulfilling the process right, and money will follow through. It’s never right, to do a shortcut. Smart, doesn’t always right. Everything can’t just be counted by how much you make. Indeed, empty heart and empty soul, are worse than empty bank account. Well, maybe in the other hand people with the opposite position will see this as an ungrateful moment. I should be grateful that I get many job opportunity in such a young age. But enough.. I will cheat the process no more.

I will stop taking jobs until graduation I think. Well If I do, I will extremely very picky. Do this job will improve me? Do I like doing it? Do it suit my taste? Can I grow in this project? Money will never be the subject, ever, again.

Yet again, I have to remind myself, not to be triggered by success story of young people to cut all the process, to reach wealthy in such a young age. SO WHAT? Oh god, it’s a real trap. Now I really get it, why everybody reminds the millennials not to get trapped in it. It will downgrade the generation for sure. Everybody will fast forward the process, and the quality will of course downgrading. Everybody will just chase the money. The instant fame. But not really having the good quality. Faking everything, but deep down they know that they’re very insecure, that they are actually not that good. That’s what I feel.

I know that nothing’s too late. It is a failure If I gave up. Okay, I will absolutely enjoy the beautiful process, of literally every single thing. This generation is fooled. I am really afraid when I finally realise this. How tragic is this. What on earth caused this tragic mind set?

So here goes the solution,

I will work, work, work on improving myself. Improving my friendship, the feel of missing an old friend. Having time together, having fun. Enjoying the process of engaging with someone, to finally be a life partner. Enjoying the slow process of opening up to someone step by step. Enjoying the slow living, to catch every little details with grace. Enjoying the struggle, the pain, the anxiety of producing bad bad bad design, but finally be able to improve and improve to finally be a kick ass designer. To sell design with dignity and quality.

I want to fill my life with a real quality. I don’t want to fill my life with fake process, and called it a ready to sell stuff. I know it’s a real trap. I can’t fall in the same hole ever again. I really am mad with everyone and the society why you let the millennials think like this? God, save this generation. Save me.

I will, see life as a beautiful process. So seize each day, and really enjoy every single one of it. To see every meeting, every event, every text, every photo, every make up, every writing, every design, every artwork, every relationship as something that I should cherished to the fullest. It’s life. And that’s it, cannot be corrupted, cannot be fast forward, cannot be instant. Don’t cheat life, don’t cheat time, don’t cheat. Just don’t.

Quarter Life Crisis

I’ve been becoming this self where people see me as a highly motivated, passionate, and strong committed graphic designer, where pursuing my passion is my main goal. Honestly I ever made a promise to myself, to never ever let anything get me distracted, or give up to pursuing my dreams, to be an established graphic designer, because graphic design is my passion, it still is, and it will always will be.

Short story, I’m in the 5th semester of studying visual communication design, majoring in creative advertising. And my eyes are quite open, to see enough how the real design industry is, how it works, the drill, the high and low, even though i haven’t got in there for real. But I think I’ve done too many research, interviewing many people, and I think those reviews got in my head. Majoring in creative advertising, leads me to have much interest and passion in advertising industry, I think it’s really challenging, and it’s so cool to work with amazing ideas, to actually brain-washing people, solve almost every problem with creativity, how cool is that? Because I remember the main reason why I love design, is not how beautiful the design i can make, but how the design can influence and change people’s mindset for the better, and advertising is the real deal to get there.

But well, there’s always a price you have to pay right. I heard too much about the ‘dark side’ of the industry, where the competition is crazy, people stabbed you in the back, the drill and fast paced cycle, didn’t give you much chance to enjoy life. Being a woman, it’s quite challenging to see, on the other hand, the kind of ‘family oriented’ woman, who use beauty as their main goal (haha) are ready to find their perfect husband, who will give the fully financial support, but ask you to give up your job, and taking care of his children. Well, it is beautiful, really. But i don’t think i could be that kind of woman. I am aspire to marriage, of course, having a partner who will build the empire together, giving mutual support during the bright and dark days, I am.. so… missing that feeling.

But no, I can’t be a full housewife and giving up my job. I want a partner, who support each other’s passion, but we see family as the main point. You get what I mean? I see many couples managed to do so, well not many, but it’s possible to be done. But I am not that stupid, to believe that I can be a creative director in an agency, or even opening my own advertising agency, while I’m being a loving mom who cook and be in a parent meeting at the same time. It’s only 24 hours. What did you expect?

I.. don’t know where I’m heading next. I’m at this point where, all my plans are crashed. My relationship’s broken. Suddenly I gotta choose between my career or building a family. It’s really depressing, not knowing where you should go next.

I feel like I have to pause, for a while. But at the same time I realise that time wouldn’t wait. Other teenager in my age, are running a marathon, and I don’t want to be the one who give up in the middle of the road. I never though that this day actually come to me, because I have committed to myself, to never listen to anything that makes me give up on my dreams, but well that day comes.

I have managed to prove to quite many people that I am an established graphic designer, or at least have a quite big potential to be one. But when I’m about to do the ‘real jump’, I.. am not sure if the jump was right. I don’t really know what I want right now, I don’t know which option that leads me to the happiness I want.

I don’t even know what I want?

Do I want career? Young marriage? Be a good mom? To be a successful ad woman?

It feels like life gave me choices I had to make, and I can only choose one. Not two, not three. It’s depressing. I know I’m willing to give the hard work, I know I’m able to be a hard-working person, but right now I’m just afraid that I may work too hard not in the smartest way. I’m losing my life value and purpose.

Maybe this is the quarter life crisis.

Dunia ini Terlalu Bising.

Ini adalah spontanitas 100%, my guts tell me to write directly on blogger, because I think this is a part of my growing up steps, this is a big steps.

I deactive my Instagram account, and I deleted the application.
Somehow, hal itu mengubah rutinitas dan how I think about life, mostly. I lost some, and of course get some. Ini adalah hari ketiga, and it actually got me a lot of thinking, and I think I've come up with a little decision for myself.

I want to... dismiss myself from the crowd, for a little moment.

I don't want to appear in any of my social media, I don't want to join any of social events, yah tapi kalau yang udah terlanjut gue ngga bisa menghancurkan people's trust on me ya, tapi intinya, gue mau membatasi banget kontak gue dengan society.

I need a deep moment with myself. Yes you can say self-isolation 2.0.

But I feel like this one's different. The first one is of course, my break up. I did isolate myself, but actualy isolate myself with a tragic sadness, and caught me up in the clouds, having one perspective, and judging life from here and there.

This one's different. 2 Years of self re-building, really taught me so many things. Caught me up in poeple's shoes, give me a whole new perspective about life. Involved in many social events, jobs, wrong relationships, engaging with lot of new people. Yes, I do try to make my life as busy as I could, to make me forgot about this emptiness. But people, today, I... I didn't call it as surreding. I call it an Ultimate Self Introspection.

I want silence.
I will never fight my emptiness with noises this time.

Most people afraid of silence. Because in silence, the truths about yourself are revealed. You can't run, you can't hide, because the only thing you found is your trueself, and no more hiding, no more pretending, but facing your true fear, your true scars, your ugly facts about life, your tragedy, you broken pieces, are ready to be faced, after I've been running for these 2 years.

Yes, finally I've realised. You can't pass on without mourning. Mourning with real mind, to really understand. To feel. What I've been doing is, feeding myself with anger. I do a lot of crying, but it's not mourning. It's an act of rejecting the fact. I haven't let myself broke, and mourn, and accept the fact that I may be weak, and sad, and I fail this times. And the most important thing is, it's okay to fail, and not having the answer immediately, not be able to motivate yourself, to start a complete self rebuilding.

How can you build a strong foundation on a rough, scattered, broken land? Don't we have to firstly clean, heal, flattening the ground, and simply understand that it all takes time to finally be a strong foundation (again) to build something above it?

And here, in silence I found the truth. Not from my mother, my best friends, wong fu videos, buzz feed video, or any other lecturing video how to pass a broken heart phase. I caught my answer in self-accepting, and especially in silence. And in that moment, don't interup the process with "you called self motivating" or "you called solution", when you force yourself to find a solution in this harsh time, what you found isn't solution. I mean, how can you think clearly when you're head is actually messed up? You end up making up a "Words" that your own heads want to hear. Some sentenced filled with rush and anger, the urge to prove that you can actually pass this grief.

That's okay.
To pause a little bit.
To live a life without a clear direction.

"You have to get lost, to finally find your true self."

I need to spend time in my own sanctuary. Think none. Feel none.
And finally, I know, that life itself will restore my feels, my sense, my pure soul, without I have to make it all up. Let it processing from a zigot, to an embrio, finally to be a beautiful baby of soul.

I can't keep interfering my process of creating a new soul of life.
I need to let it grow.
It takes time.
And it's okay.

Thank you Jesus, for making me realise tonight.

Hopefully this is the real end.

Well. This is it.

This is the end, for me. It feels like one. I’m in the corner of the street. It’s walls, walls, and walls. Got no way out. Don’t tell me I’m giving up. Because I’ve search a freakin other way, I go there, there, there, and there. I even go the underground, searching for another way to escape. But this sadness feels like a maze I can’t never get out. No matter door I got in, it always end up in the same place I started, sadness, broken heart, loneliness, emptiness, and the worst thing, it’s endless. It’s a dark and lonely road. I’m out of energy. I’m draining. 

I’m out of energy. I can’t walk anymore. I can’t put back the pieces of myself together. It’s all over the place. And it’s dying, each of it. Every attemped that I do, to put it back together, always going to fall, break, and be crashed, again and again. You think this is a joke, huh, life?

Okay, you win. Okay life. You did win. I’m done. I’m not challenging you anymore, life. Please, stop this torture. What else you want me to do?  You want me to give my life up? What? What else?

I don’t know what else to say. I do feel like I’m in the corner right now. No, there’s no lava, or poisoned smoke. It simply there’s nothing. Nothing. I’m in this lonely maze, surviving alone. But i’m stuck. In this maze forever. Nobody’s picking me up. Its like life’s building a wall for me and a rescue.

I’m in a coffin. Alive, but in a coffin. Couldn’t escape. My soul is dead already. Just my body’s still moving. Still breathing. But it’s a coffin for my soul. It’s been dead for long time ago. And the worst thing is I just realise it now. No matter how hard I ran, I fight back, I jump, I fix myself, I fucking punched the walls, I fucking tried everything, but it’s just not fair, me here, burning my throat, staying awake at night, making a sad letter, drunk and sad again when i’m sober, caught up in an always wrong relationship with stranger, and again, and again, it’s fucking not fair that you’re happy there with someone new, fake happiness, temporary happiness, but at least.. there’s happiness word in it. Too bad, indeed, my soul’s dead already. There’s nothing I can do to change it. 

From a genuine soul, you kill it like blowing out candle. So easy. Without guilty feeling. And ready to kill another one. I wish there’s a word to describe how much I hate you right now. It’s like nothing else in this word. I hate you, like I wish I could forget your name.

When I say that I didn’t regret that you’re part of my life, no I fucking take it back for sure. I do, wish, that, you, never, even be seen. Never heard your name. Never look at you even once. Never breath the same air with you. Never ever, step the same world with you. No, that doesn’t even describe 1% of how much I hate you. I could write 100 books to describe how much I hate you.

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Tapi sumpah sih, disuruh balikan juga gue bener-bener nggamau. Beneran, ngga denial. Bener-bener nggamau. So if there’s a wish that can come true for me. I just want my genuine soul back. Thats all. I want my old soul, where I can still see people’s good as good. Where I see love is the act of being grateful of life. Where I can still smile with strangers. Where I still feel like life is a gift. I don’t know how precious is my genuine soul until today. It’s the most precious gift from god. I used to hate it so much, being genuine, because I always think positively about everything. I hate it, I thought it was stupid. But no, It’s a really precious that almost everyone has lost it. I am deeply really sad about it you can’t imagine. 

Take The Personality Test, DEBATER Result!

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DEBATER PERSONALITY (ENTP, -A/-T)

“Follow the path of the unsafe, independent thinker. Expose your ideas to the dangers of controversy. Speak your mind and fear less the label of ’crack-pot’ than the stigma of conformity. And on issues that seem important to you, stand up and be counted at any cost.” —Thomas J. Watson

The Debater personality type is the ultimate devil’s advocate, thriving on the process of shredding arguments and beliefs and letting the ribbons drift in the wind for all to see. Debaters don’t do this because they are trying to achieve some deeper purpose or strategic goal, but for the simple reason that it’s fun. No one loves the process of mental sparring more than Debaters, as it gives them a chance to exercise their effortlessly quick wit, broad accumulated knowledge base, and capacity for connecting disparate ideas to prove their points.

An odd juxtaposition arises with Debaters, as they are uncompromisingly honest, but will argue tirelessly for something they don’t actually believe in, stepping into another’s shoes to argue a truth from another perspective.

Playing the devil’s advocate helps people with the Debater personality type to not only develop a better sense of others’ reasoning, but a better understanding of opposing ideas – since Debaters are the ones arguing them.

This tactic shouldn’t be confused with the sort of mutual understanding Diplomat personalities seek – Debaters, like all Analyst personality types, are on a constant quest for knowledge, and what better way to gain it than to attack and defend an idea, from every angle, from every side?

There Are no Rules Here – We’re Trying to Accomplish Something!

Taking a certain pleasure in being the underdog, Debaters enjoy the mental exercise found in questioning the prevailing mode of thought, making them irreplaceable in reworking existing systems or shaking things up and pushing them in clever new directions. However, they’ll be miserable managing the day-to-day mechanics of actually implementing their suggestions. Debater personalities love to brainstorm and think big, but they will avoid getting caught doing the “grunt work” at all costs. Debaters only make up about three percent of the population, which is just right, as it lets them create original ideas, then step back to let more numerous and fastidious personalities handle the logistics of implementation and maintenance.

Debaters’ capacity for debate can be a vexing one – while often appreciated when it’s called for, it can fall painfully flat when they step on others’ toes by say, openly questioning their boss in a meeting, or picking apart everything their significant other says. This is further complicated by Debaters’ unyielding honesty, as this type doesn’t mince words and cares little about being seen as sensitive or compassionate. Likeminded types get along well enough with people with the Debater personality type, but more sensitive types, and society in general, are often conflict-averse, preferring feelings, comfort, and even white lies over unpleasant truths and hard rationality.

This frustrates Debaters, and they find that their quarrelsome fun burns many bridges, oftentimes inadvertently, as they plow through others’ thresholds for having their beliefs questioned and their feelings brushed aside. Treating others as they’d be treated, Debaters have little tolerance for being coddled, and dislike when people beat around the bush, especially when asking a favor. Debater personalities find themselves respected for their vision, confidence, knowledge, and keen sense of humor, but often struggle to utilize these qualities as the basis for deeper friendships and romantic relationships.

Opportunity Is Missed Because It Looks Like Hard Work

Debaters have a longer road than most in harnessing their natural abilities – their intellectual independence and free-form vision are tremendously valuable when they’re in charge, or at least have the ear of someone who is, but getting there can take a level of follow-through that Debaters struggle with.

Once they’ve secured such a position, Debaters need to remember that for their ideas to come to fruition, they will always depend on others to assemble the pieces – if they’ve spent more time “winning” arguments than they have building consensus, many Debaters will find they simply don’t have the support necessary to be successful. Playing devil’s advocate so well, people with this personality type may find that the most complex and rewarding intellectual challenge is to understand a more sentimental perspective, and to argue consideration and compromise alongside logic and progress.

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DEBATER STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES

Debater Strengths

• Knowledgeable – Debaters rarely pass up a good opportunity to learn something new, especially abstract concepts. This information isn’t usually absorbed for any planned purpose as with dedicated studying, people with the Debater personality type just find it fascinating.
• Quick Thinkers – Debaters have tremendously flexible minds, and are able to shift from idea to idea without effort, drawing on their accumulated knowledge to prove their points, or their opponents’, as they see fit.
• Original – Having little attachment to tradition, Debater personalities are able to discard existing systems and methods and pull together disparate ideas from their extensive knowledge base, with a little raw creativity to hold them together, to formulate bold new ideas. If presented with chronic, systemic problems and given rein to solve them, Debaters respond with unabashed glee.
• Excellent Brainstormers – Nothing is quite as enjoyable to Debaters as analyzing problems from every angle to find the best solutions. Combining their knowledge and originality to splay out every aspect of the subject at hand, rejecting without remorse options that don’t work and presenting ever more possibilities, Debaters are irreplaceable in brainstorming sessions.
• Charismatic – People with the Debater personality type have a way with words and wit that others find intriguing. Their confidence, quick thought and ability to connect disparate ideas in novel ways create a style of communication that is charming, even entertaining, and informative at the same time.
• Energetic – When given a chance to combine these traits to examine an interesting problem, Debaters can be truly impressive in their enthusiasm and energy, having no qualms with putting in long days and nights to find a solution.

Debater Weaknesses

• Very Argumentative – If there’s anything Debaters enjoy, it’s the mental exercise of debating an idea, and nothing is sacred. More consensus-oriented personality types rarely appreciate the vigor with which Debater personalities tear down their beliefs and methods, leading to a great deal of tension.
• Insensitive – Being so rational, Debaters often misjudge others feelings and push their debates well past others’ tolerance levels. People with this personality type don’t really consider emotional points to be valid in such debates either, which magnifies the issue tremendously.
• Intolerant – Unless people are able to back up their ideas in a round of mental sparring, Debaters are likely to dismiss not just the ideas but the people themselves. Either a suggestion can stand up to rational scrutiny or it’s not worth bothering with.
• Can Find It Difficult to Focus – The same flexibility that allows Debaters to come up with such original plans and ideas makes them readapt perfectly good ones far too often, or to even drop them entirely as the initial excitement wanes and newer thoughts come along. Boredom comes too easily for Debaters, and fresh thoughts are the solution, though not always a helpful one.
• Dislike Practical Matters – Debaters are interested in what could be – malleable concepts like ideas and plans that can be adapted and debated. When it comes to hard details and day-to-day execution where creative flair isn’t just unnecessary but actually counter-productive, Debater personalities lose interest, often with the consequence of their plans never seeing the light of day.

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DEBATER RELATIONSHIPS

If there’s one thing Debaters are good at, it’s coming up with a never-ending stream of innovations and ideas to keep things moving forward, and this is evident in their romantic relationships as well. For people with the Debater personality type growth is key, and even before they’ve found a dating partner, they imagine all the ways that they can experience new things together, to grow in tandem. This can be an overwhelming process if their partner doesn’t match up, but when Debaters find someone who shares their love of intellectual exploration, watch out.

Show Me a Satisfied Man, and I’ll Show You a Failure

From the earliest dates, Debaters test their partners’ limits for this kind of potential, pushing boundaries and traditions, looking for open-mindedness and spontaneity. Dating Debater personalities is hardly a boring experience, and they make use of their enthusiasm and creativity by delighting and surprising their partners with new ideas and experiences.

Debaters’ idea of fun is often rooted in self-improvement, and people with this personality type bring their partners along the way, as much in a spirit of sharing as in a spirit of expectation. Debaters see either growth or stagnation and don’t buy into the idea of a happy status quo, making them demanding as much as they are exciting.

Some may tire in the face of this constant improvement – while Debaters’ vigor can be attractive, it can also wear down even the most patient partners. A little time to breathe and a chance to rest on one’s laurels for a moment is necessary for many people, but not something Debaters are likely to appreciate. However, if their unwavering enthusiasm is met in kind, it can lead to a magnificent relationship characterized by its strength, depth, and spark.

Genius Is One Percent Inspiration and Ninety-Nine Percent Perspiration

This is perhaps most evident as Debaters’ relationships progress into more intimate situations. All that exploratory curiosity and enthusiasm has a chance to be expressed in new ways when Debaters and their partners come together, and they readily encourage their partners to try new things, to enjoy their intimacy without preconceived limitations.

For people with the Debater personality type, this phase of their relationships is a chance to improve and develop in areas that are outside the realm of academia, though they approach it in much the same way – as a physical and intellectual process of striving towards excellence, rather than a spiritual or emotional expression of affection.

Debaters’ desire to improve in this department makes them fantastic partners when the relationship reaches that point, but their attitude towards this process is also evidence of their most glaring shortcoming – their emotional obliviousness. While Debaters are more open-minded than other Analyst personality types about others’ perspectives, they are also more likely to express their disdain for such things as emotional sensitivity in cuttingly well-phrased and clear terms, easily hurting their partners’ feelings without realizing it. Debater personalities may even ignore their partners’ feelings altogether, instead immersing themselves entirely in some distant idea or opportunity, inaccessible.

Where Debaters’ unwavering desire for self-improvement comes in most handy is in their emotional development, as they may actually be willing to work on areas such as sensitivity and emotional communication with their partners.

Debaters’ best compatibility rests with other Intuitive (N) types, with one or two opposing traits which help to create both balance and opportunities for growth. If they are with a more sensitive partner, this can be an excellent way for them to find another quality that they can work on together, making this weakness yet another opportunity to be creative, challenge themselves, and to deepen the attractiveness that this sense of progression brings to their relationships.

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DEBATER FRIENDS

Loyalty, support, emotional feedback – these are not what Debaters look for in their friendships. The last thing people with the Debater personality type want to hear is “you’re right”, not unless they have absolutely earned the distinction in a heated round of intellectual debate. If they’re wrong, Debaters want to be told so, and they want every detail of the faults in their logic to be laid bare, partly in their quest for oftentimes arbitrary truth, and partly just so they have to work to defend that logic with counterpoint and parry.

It’s often easy for Debaters to test compatibility with a potential friend – they just need to test combatability. Debater personalities are quick-witted, and their primary means of expressing this is in the form of arguments and discussions, where they will easily spend an entire evening debating an idea they may not even believe in.

The epitome of Debaters’ friendships is when someone can hold their ground in these arbitrary debates with valid, rational arguments.

These debates are never taken personally, no matter how heated they become or how striking the disagreement. Much as an athlete competes for the physical exertion and the spirit of competition itself, Debaters debate for the sake intellectual stimulation and for the debate itself, and even in overwhelming victory or crushing defeat, it’s never about dominance, only inspiration to try harder next time.

When You Play, Play Hard

They know how to relax and have fun too, it’s just that “fun” to Debaters – a bottle of wine and a discussion about the causes of and solutions to the European migrant crisis – could be described as “an evening from hell” by many other personalities. But Debaters are a genial and enthusiastic personality type for the most part, and pretty much any situation that allows for conversation and a little wordplay is an enjoyable outing.

Debaters are actually remarkably good at communicating with friends and acquaintances of other personality types. Their natural tendency to argue as effectively as possible means that Debaters are accustomed to communicating in other people’s language and frame of reference, and this translates well into normal conversation. Where people with the Debater personality type do have difficulty relating to others is in emotional expression, the Achilles’ heel of all Analyst types.

The Worst Thinking Has Been Done in Turmoil

Being inclined to suppress their emotions and feelings, when Debaters are faced with a friend who, figuratively or literally, needs a shoulder to cry on, they have no clue how to handle the situation. They are perfectly willing and happy to offer a series of rational, reasonable solutions to the problem at hand, as Debaters do for any situation where a problem needs to be fixed, but they are certainly not known for their sensitivity or outward affection, no matter how intuitively they may understand another’s position.

Worse is when Debater personalities try to turn these emotional situations into something they find more comfortable: a debate. Given how remarkably good Debaters are at arguing both sides of a point, they are remarkably bad at putting themselves in someone else’s shoes from an emotional standpoint. Debaters should avoid at all costs the temptation to turn a discussion about the causes of a friend’s recent breakup into competitive intellectual fodder.

So long as everyone understands not to take their words too personally, anyone who isn’t afraid to discuss new ideas – and have them converted into so much confetti – is likely to find stimulating and thought-provoking friends in Debaters. It’s not a compatibility that clicks with everyone, but Debaters don’t really care about being liked by everyone anyways. As long as they get to alternate between being the sounding board and the megaphone, Debaters and their friends are bound to enjoy each other’s company for a long, long time.

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DEBATER PARENTS

One might think that the blustery and flighty nature of Debaters would make parenting a particular challenge for them, and in many ways, they’d be right. However, one thing people with the Debater personality type love more than just about anything is a good challenge, a problem to fix, even if it comes to addressing their own weaknesses. Debaters take their roles as parents seriously, and they are bound to be affected profoundly by this development in their lives – if anyone is able to take an outside influence, like their children, and use that influence to address their own faults, it is Debaters.

Be Brave, Have Faith, Go Forward!

From the beginning Debaters’ distaste for rules and regulations is evident, and they are likely to give their young children the freedom necessary to explore on their own. Independence is one of Debaters’ greatest needs, and they feel that no person is complete without an independent mind.

Debater personalities create relaxed, unorthodox environments for their children, founded on enthusiasm and the joy of discovery through the development of reason, not heavily structured settings designed merely to be safe.

As their children grow and develop, Debaters encourage them to think independently and voice objections, opinions and alternatives. But unlike Diplomat parents, who encourage their children to express their thoughts in terms of feelings and needs, Debaters teach their children to approach these options from a position of impartiality and logic, to state what is more effective rather than what would make them feel good. As in other relationships, this quality of emotional inaccessibility is where Debaters struggle.

As their children grow into adolescence and learn to find a balance in healthy emotional expression, people with the Debater personality type may find themselves exasperated. While always up for a good debate on just about any subject, Debaters often need their partners’ help in managing more emotional outbursts and arguments. Debaters are more able than most, but even they have their limits and rules when it comes to vocal conflict.

There’s a Way to Do It Better – Find It.

Luckily, Debater personalities recognize what’s at stake: they want their children to grow into smart, independent, honest adults. To convey those values, Debaters know that they need, like with any other debate, to communicate in terms that are accessible to all sides. If that means learning how to use the tools of emotional expression and appeals, and in so doing becoming more emotionally expressive in real, personal terms as well, so be it.

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DEBATER CAREERS

In the world of careers, Debaters have the benefit of being naturally engaged and interested in being productive and helpful. But rather than the sort of people-oriented helpfulness that Diplomat personality types bring to the table, Debater personalities are focused on developing solutions to interesting and diverse technical and intellectual problems. Debaters are a versatile personality type, and while it may take time for them to get to a point where they can fully utilize their skillset and qualities, they are likely to find that those qualities translate well into pretty much any career that so much as piques their interest.

If there’s anything Debaters love, it’s flexing their mental muscles, and any environment that lets them devise new approaches, new ideas and new projects, that allows them to push the limits of their creativity, will benefit strongly from what Debaters bring to the table. Not every career allows this level of unbridled brainpower, but there are those that demand nothing but: entrepreneurship, engineering, even acting and photography. So long as Debaters are honest with themselves about their strengths and weaknesses, they can thrive in most any career that is in need of a new line of thinking.

The Value of an Idea Lies in the Using of It

All this intellectual power can be intimidating, but unlike their Introverted (I) cousins, people with the Debater personality type have the added benefit of being excellent communicators, in the written word but especially in face-to-face conversation. Though they dislike the constraints of managing others (and of being managed), this social adaptability allows Debaters to be natural leaders, showing the way forward and inspiring others with sound logic and intellectual prowess. While others may object to these plans with emotional considerations or general resistance to change, things Debaters place little value in, these competing comments are usually outmaneuvered by Debater personalities’ deft arguments and subtly shifting goals.

The best careers reward intellectual competency and curiosity, allowing Debaters to utilize their never-ending flow of ideas productively by affording a degree of spontaneity in how they engage their intellectual pursuits. People with the Debater personality type value knowledge, rational thought and insight very highly, and they make brilliant lawyers, psychologists, systems analysts and scientists. It’s even possible for Debaters to thrive as sales representatives, as they rationalize purchase decisions that may otherwise seem discretionary – so long as their managers know to give them the space they need to work their magic.

Being Busy Doesn’t Always Mean Real Work

Really it all comes down to a sense of personal freedom, for Debaters to know that they are allowed to apply themselves fully to understanding and solving the problems that interest them, without getting bogged down by social politics and trying to figure out what makes other people “tick”. Routine, structure and formal rules all feel like unnecessary hindrances to Debaters, and they may find that their best careers yet allow them to engage their intellectual pursuits on their own terms, as freelance consultants or software engineers.

The key for Debaters is to have the patience to get to a position that allows for these freedoms, to be in an environment long enough that not just their colleagues, but their managers and, in time, their subordinates, recognize what it is that they bring to the table. Debaters have exceptional qualities – it’s quantifying their achievements and skills that presents the biggest challenge. But once they’ve got their foot in the door, once they’ve got a willing ear higher in the hierarchy, the sky’s the limit.

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DEBATERS IN THE WORKPLACE

Debaters have straightforward expectations in the workplace, but ones that aren’t always easy to meet. Strong believers in meritocracy, people with the Debater personality type expect their ideas to be heard by those above them, expect robust debate among their peers, and demand that those they manage offer up new solutions and ideas regardless of their positions. While this isn’t always how things play out in reality, Debaters know what to look for, and can avoid those strictly hierarchical institutions that they would otherwise struggle with.

Debater Subordinates

This dynamic is clearest with Debater subordinates, as they are comfortable challenging their managers’ ideas and have a strong (and well-expressed) dislike for restrictive rules and guidelines. Debaters back this unorthodox behavior with their keen minds and curiosity, and are as capable of adopting new methods as they are of suggesting others do so. If something can be done better, it’s as simple as that, and Debater personalities gladly take criticism, so long as it’s logical and performance-oriented.

The biggest challenge for Debater subordinates is that it is often the fate of the “lower” positions to implement the details, do the dirty work and follow through on plans set out by their managers. This couldn’t be further from what Debaters prefer to spend their time on – they can’t stand simple, routine work, and monotonous tasks are the stuff of nightmares. Things go over much better if managers are able to properly utilize Debaters’ preference for tackling complex challenges and diverse projects.

Debater Colleagues

It is as colleagues that Debaters prove most polarizing, as their passions for brainstorming, debate and over-analysis drive more practical, task-oriented colleagues crazy, but serve as stimulating inspiration for those who appreciate the innovation Debaters bring. Nothing bothers people with the Debater personality type more than getting out of a meeting where everyone agreed with the first plan presented, only to hear everyone complain about how stupid the plan was ten minutes later – but they “didn’t want to make waves”. Debaters strive for honest, direct and objective assessments of these ideas, so much so that they often earn reputations for their insensitivity and condescension.

Luckily Debaters know how to relax too, and their witty wordplay, healthy sense of humor and outgoing nature win new friends quickly and easily. Always willing to draw on their repository of knowledge, conversations with Debater personalities are informative and entertaining, which makes it easy for them to be the go-to person for tough problems that stump more rote approaches. Peer-to-peer relationships with Debaters aren’t always easy, but it’s tough to argue that they don’t work.

Debater Managers

While not always their goal, management is often where Debaters are most at home, allowing them the freedom to fiddle with different approaches and come up with innovative ways to tackle new challenges without having to handle the tedious step-by-step implementation of these plans. Debaters are open-minded and flexible managers, not just granting but also expecting the same freedom of thought that they themselves enjoy. This can lead to disorder, conflicting ideas and approaches being put forward, but Debaters are also great at accurately and objectively assessing which plan is likely to be most effective.

This doesn’t always make friends, but being liked is less Debaters’ goal than being respected and seen as intelligent and capable. And liked or no, people with this personality type hold firm ground in rational debates, making them fearsome advocates for their teams. The challenge for Debaters is focus, as they may find themselves jumping from project to project in a quest for challenge and excitement before their teams are able to wrap up the details of their existing goals and obligations.

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DEBATER PERSONALITY – CONCLUSION

Debaters’ intelligence, curiosity and sound reasoning skills are a force to be reckoned with. Debaters will always be able to find just the right argument, the weakest chink in their opponent’s armor, or the way out of a seemingly hopeless situation. Their fearsome debate skills and impressive knowledge allow Debaters to overcome many challenges.

Yet Debaters can be easily tripped up in areas where careful and rational thinking is more of a liability than an asset. Whether it is finding (or keeping) a partner, connecting with other people, reaching dazzling heights on the career ladder or forcing themselves to focus, Debaters need to put in a conscious effort to develop their weaker traits and additional skills.