My perspective about a relationship have totally changed because of my last one, and these are the things I've learned, and I really hope you don't have to repeat my mistake :-)
Things will be easier if you both have the same belief, in everything
I know love make all the differences unseen, and it seems like love is the fundamental thing in a relationship. But as I grow up, life taught me that love is not the only thing that can make a relationship last. It needs commitment, accept someone for who they are, a sacrifice.. to keep the balance between your life and your relationship, many things. But as I see, a religion can be a huge stumbling rock for a relationship to go further. As I say, relationship needs the willing to accept someone for who they are, and religion makes you is.. you, me is.. me, everyone is.. everyone, so it is a really important base for every single living person (or mostly). I know many couples ignore it and they're fine with the differences, I'm so happy for you then. But personally, religion is an important thing for me, my whole life will be worthless without it, and If a relationship makes me choose between my religion over someone.. I know it's hard but I already know the answer. So I think, the only way out is, before you go too deep in a relationship, and you know that religion will be the main issue in your relationship, you really should think about it, before it hurts you to the core. But if you think that he's worth it the changes, well go for it, the option is in your hands :)
Make sure he supports you to catch your dreams, not to kill it
For you girls, who have a huge dream that you made since you were a kid, go for it. For you guys who read this, you also could, in fact you should, make money and make your family proud of you, but remember.. we, girls, have the right too. Well maybe some people have a different opinion with me, don't take it personally hehe. But for me, we, girls, we are raised to be free, to be the best version of ourselves, to go after our dreams no matter how huge it is, we have that rights. We are not raised to go to school, learn things, have a huge dream, and in the end you have to give it all up.. over a low life boy? Because he wants a stay-at-home wife, and it just doesn't match to your whole future plan. Ladies please, I know maybe you're madly in love with this person, that he's everything for you, no one ever makes you feel this special, believe me I've ever through that phase too.. :) But actually you should listen to your own heart. I know there's a doubt inside you, if he is really worth it.. But you just ignore if for million times because you're afraid to lose that you-think-you-can't-live-without boyfriend. Love can make you blind sometimes, and I agree. Many people say that people change, and relationship's over because one person's changed, or they both changed.. they actually are growing up. They started to see that love is not the only thing they need in this life. They need money.. to pay for the bills later in their family, they need someone who can support their dreams, they need the space.. because sometimes a wrong relationship doesn't give you space to explore much about yourself. As you're grown up, relationship ship is not all about love. And it's okay to feel a broken heart over a failed relationship that you think it'll last, that's okay.. Because actually God's redirecting you to the right path :)
Do not change your true self for anyone
As I've said many times, a relationship couldn't work if you couldn't accept your partner for who they are. Anyway there's a different between improving yourself, and changing yourself. If he gives you an advice about your too much make up that makes you look like a clown, maybe you should check yourself in the mirror, or ask your girl friends, maybe you wore too much make up all this time but no one have the guts to tell you, and he's actually improving you to look better. But.. If he say that you can't wore make up at the first place, because he doesn't like a girl who wore make up.. Man? Who do you think you are. We are girls, that that rights, to feel pretty and to be confident about ourselves. To explore what's good and what's bad about our body, we have that right. But If you couldn't do it because a low life boy... I'm sorry to say this, that he's a selfish human being. He doesn't want other boys to want you, he just think about himself, and he doesn't care what makes you bloom. You see the difference, right? So if he try to change your true self, you should think twice if he should be exist in your life.
Never love someone for 100%
I know young love. I know how much fire you put into that relationship. I know it means the WORLD to you, even your parents couldn't give you that much love. Indeed, once again, I've through that phase too. But believe me girls, here's my opinion about guys' head; they love the chase. It's like a sport to them. It proves if they're man enough if they could catch hoe A or hoe B. Yes, I'm sorry but that's the truth. It gives them the thrill. So girls, you have to be smarter than them, you couldn't just be tennis ball right? Even how much fire you feel, how madly in love you are with this person, don't show it to them. Keep it to yourself. Makes them think that you're fine if they're exist or even when they're gone. You are holding the 'life' button, not them. You are an independent lady, you can keep up with your self with or without them. In that case, they will think twice before they hurt you. Because it makes them think that this lady... is worth fighting for. That this lady is special.. That they will search for 1000 another ways to win your heart, and it is a never ending quest for them.
p.s. I didn't mean to offend anyone in this post, I just want to share my perspective about what mature relationship should be like.
xx,
Jess
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